User talk:Armentitron
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Creepypasta Wiki:User Submissions/A page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Look at what our editors have written at the User Submissions page. If you upload OC (Original Content, or something that you wrote instead of found on the Internet), be sure to tag it with the Category:OC category AND add it to the User Submissions page. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! Sloshedtrain (talk) 07:29, November 3, 2013 (UTC) Story deletion Your story has been deleted because it doesn't meet the wiki's minimum quality standards. If you feel that it did meet the standards, please state your case on Deletion Appeal. Make sure you follow the instructions to the letter there, or your appeal will be automatically denied. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. Read for details on the 'what' and 'why' of the deletions we make. Read for further details on how you can improve your story/stories to make them meet our quality standards. Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase and it's no passing craze. 18:17, December 20, 2014 (UTC) "Death" is no longer a viable category. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 18:49, January 6, 2015 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:03, January 6, 2015 (UTC) Renaming ScrewYouDinkleberg changed the title of the story to fix an issue with capitalization. ("The" is only capitalized at the start of a title. For example: The Dreams in the Witch House is properly titled/capitalized.) As it is a relatively new story, he didn't leave a redirect page. Hope that answers your question. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 17:49, January 18, 2015 (UTC) Re: The title was improperly capitalized somewhere, that's why. I had to move the page to fix the problem. Don't worry though, your actual story has no real changes. [[User:ScrewYouDinkleberg|''As we sit here alone, looking for a reason to go on,]] [[User talk:ScrewYouDinkleberg|'it's so clear that all we have now, are our thoughts of yesterday.''']] 20:58, January 18, 2015 (UTC) :The reason it's giving the message it's because your title probably has a name that has blacklisted words (.exe, Random Name + the Killer etc) on them, or you're adding punctuation that's not allowed in certain parts (like adding a comma in the end of the title). DOCTOR! DOCTOR! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BURNING, BURNING? 20:54, January 20, 2015 (UTC) Re: Story Nothing wrong with the story, the formatting just needs to be fixed. I'll try to do that in a little bit (if someone else doesn't beat me to it). LOLSKELETONS (talk) 15:53, January 28, 2015 (UTC) :Nevermind, someone already did. LOLSKELETONS (talk) 15:54, January 28, 2015 (UTC) Title I removed that part because it made the title look awkward. If you want it back on there I'll go ahead and put it in, but it will be "Age 11" not "aged 11". I would advise leaving it out, but it's up to you. Jay Ten (talk) 12:38, April 30, 2015 (UTC) Please Use Source Mode The default setting for editing is "Visual Editor." There is really no point in using this setting, as it results in formatting issues. Please change the setting to "Source Editor." Click on the option panel below your profile picture in the top right area of the page. Click "My Preferences," then click the "Editing" tab. Then change the "Preferred Editor" option panel to "Source Editor." USER~TALK~EDITS 22:57, April 30, 2015 (UTC) hey hey umm do are you the author or do you know the name of the author who wrote " The Story of My Only Friend Who Killed Himself, Age 11? Hi. Could you please leave your username so we can have this conversation properly? Sorry if this is a late reply. Cheers, --Armentitron (talk) 08:22, December 16, 2015 (UTC)Armentitron Yes, I was wondering about it. Are you the author? Lady-warrior (talk) 18:02, December 30, 2015 (UTC) I made a video narration of your story. Is that okay? Lady-warrior (talk) 19:03, December 30, 2015 (UTC) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ygs7YST8N4 Hope this works. here ya go. Lady-warrior (talk) 20:43, December 30, 2015 (UTC) Re: I added the signature of the person that left the comment. For future reference, you can check the history of a page by selecting the history button from the drop down edit menu. Jay Ten (talk) 12:17, December 16, 2015 (UTC) Reenforcements Finally "unbanned". I don't know about you, but I'm quitting, admins aren't very open to suggestions (I did no only criticize, I gave also suggestions). What was their response? Ban me so I can't answer their comments on my talk page. Have you only read some of their stories? Most aren't even good. Well written, yes, but boring and not scaring. So, since they have nothing for them on this website, I'll just move to another. I'm glad to quit this unpractical website (seriously: talks pages, no PM, Mortaest (talk) 14:55, December 28, 2015 (UTC),...), but above everything, these nazi-admin Mortaest (talk) 14:55, December 28, 2015 (UTC)Mortaest ∆ SoPretentious ∆ 10:57, February 29, 2016 (UTC) ∆ SoPretentious ∆ 10:57, February 29, 2016 (UTC) : The story was not deleted for the format issues, it lacked consequential events and had little suspense or interest, making it anti-climactic. It mostly would need more impact and events that leave something to cling to. The character development was pretty alright, but the story was forgettable. : ∆ SoPretentious ∆ 12:09, February 29, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 19:26, April 3, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story Besides the punctuation ("“Echidna tonight.(,)” I say", "“Set… more… traps.(,)” he wheezes as the tendrils cram", etc.), capitalization ("“…monster (Monster)…?”", "“… bring (Bring)… paprika… next time…”"), wording ("The timber handrail guides my descent step by step, slowly and surely so as not to miss a step", " I make my way over to the far corner of the room where the window is, trading (treading) on eggshells", "as if the chain around his ankle would permit him any geographical alternative.", "He just sits there, knees to his chest and head against his knees", "He flickers his gaze to the opposite corner.", "I send him a half smile. I don’t know if he receives it.", etc.), tense shift issues ("The bucket dangling at my side was filled with several gravelly, fly-ridden samples from the highway that leads out of our valley property." As the story is told in present tense, your tensing should reflect that), the story also needs re-working. Story issues: There are quite a number of plot issues here. "No point looming over him like I’m the monster here. “…monster…?”" As he never said those words aloud, it comes off as odd that the character would react. If you're implying he's telepathic, you might want to go into more detail there. A lot of the story could also use more detail/focus. "the pricks keep sending old Betty to the door trying to get a peek into the house." Why is the FBI sending old women to the house instead of investigating themselves? A lot of the story feels like you're glossing over points (like the father's death, the FBI, and the situation Kevin and Dennis are in) which really doesn't make for an involving story. The story needs some pretty drastic revision as it's currently not up to quality standards for the site. However, since you reuploaded it after being warned about it in the past, you have been banned for one day. I suggest looking over the site rules as the next infraction will result in a lengthier ban. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:33, April 3, 2016 (UTC) :Except you messaged me in-between the first deletion and you re-uploading it which means you got the deletion message and then just decided to disregard it all together. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:18, April 5, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story (again) Five minutes seems pretty reasonable especially when the errors are pretty evident. I would suggest spending longer on the story itself rather than focusing on the amount of time it takes for us to judge the quality of a story that is about a page long. It’s severely overwritten: “In a room illuminated only by the dull indigo glow of a TV set, a boy sits on a leather sofa, a disciple of the endless stream of waves emitted by the shrine to human ignorance before him.”, “Any interest in keeping his head erect has long faded, letting the weight cave in a manner that may or may not have arthritic effects.”, “inertia prevents any action taken.” Inertia in simplest terms is an object’s tendency to resist changes in states of motion, etc.. This feels like you're trying to make this as wordy as possible, but don't fully seem to understand how to utilize them. I'd suggest sticking to words you are familiar with rather than using a thesaurus. Awkward wording: “From the corner of his word hole drizzles some bodily concoction, the hue of which will never be known”, “He walks towards the stairs to the cellar, each footstep practically the weight of a pendulum.” What exactly do you mean here as pendulum really doesn’t evoke mention of weight, but rather motion. “His brother’s eyes flicker to the toy, and with the hastiness of a man on high snatches the toy from the floor.” Did you mean to say flick? Flicker generally implies light or looking from one object to another. (“His eyes flickered between me and the toy.”) Additionally what is the comparison you are trying to make to a man on high? For spending so much time on the wording, there is little plot here. The italicized quotes have little to no bearing on the story at all and just feel tacked on. A lot of the lines feel like they need to be explained in a lot more depth. "Into his bed the boy climbs. Undressing is a weakness to him." and "Thankfully his brother is bound to the cellar except for when he unwillingly slips through a crack.". This story really isn't standalone at all and doesn't even really have a plot or conclusion. t'm sorry, but this is not very well-written or really thought out. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:27, May 4, 2016 (UTC) :In context they feel like you're just word-dropping and writing purple prose. Why write so high-handed and then use phrases like 'word hole'? In the end, it just comes off as being hastily written and trying to distract with wordy descriptions that really end up saying nothing or telling a story with a plot. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:34, May 4, 2016 (UTC) ::Not really, even stories that focus on more surreal aspects and stream-of-conscious story telling still try to tell a story with a plot and conclusion. Since you mentioned Lynch earlier, I'll mention "Eraserhead", a movie that shifts towards the end and is known as being pretty out there. That's a pretty set plot of him having to raise a child after being with a girl. It may shift off the rails towards the end, but there is still a lot of things to infer with contextual clues and hints. There's still a conflict that needs to be resolved and a reason given for their actions. Your story is vague, doesn't explain what it does mention, and really lacks a plot (which by the way is a reason for deletion.) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 21:46, May 4, 2016 (UTC) :::Not if there's no point to the rambling or advancement of the plot. One of our deletion reasons is "lacks story/content", that pretty much explains it. This is getting pretty circular as I mentioned this above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:04, May 4, 2016 (UTC) Because it doesn't really tell an involving story, engage the readers in any way, and comes off as superficial. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 22:16, May 4, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:23, August 5, 2016 (UTC) :I'm sorry, but if you meant that to be a finished story and not just a segment in a series then I have to say that that was an extremely disappointing story. Basically an angel crashes into a church (ala "Preacher") and demons discuss finding it before ending on them being ambushed by people recording the scene. There's no sense of resolution, this feels like the first chapter of a story, a story that has quite a few punctuation, capitalization, and plot holes by the way. The final line was the same on your Reddit entry. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:42, August 5, 2016 (UTC) ::Or maybe you can follow the site rules and realize that we don't allow unfinished stories and we have quality standards to filter out stories that aren't ready for the site. Fun side note even though you're likely joking about the next story: Haunted games are also banned. You might want to familiarize yourself with those rules or it'll be five deletions. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:54, August 5, 2016 (UTC) :::We have those rules to ensure that high quality stories are posted to the site. :::Back before the unfinished page rule was enforced a few years ago, we had dozens upon dozens of unfinished stories floating around (we still do that admins have likely missed if you look hard enough) that were abandoned long ago and will never be completed. Very few people want to read a story that ends one or two chapters in that may/may not be completed (look at 1999 and the comments about the author's last update, a story that was grandfathered in for an example) :::Back when our quality standards were lax, we received a number of poorly written stories that were so bad that a few of them were even transferred to the trollpasta wiki. Really we're valuing quality over quantity and using the spinoff appeal and the deletion appeal as our system of checks and balances. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:08, August 5, 2016 (UTC) Re: It's the periods in the title. If it was me, I would simply lose the periods and the "Still Am" part. The periods at least have to go. I also read the first few larger paragraphs and think it could use another proofread. For example: "...like gunmetal worms in a constant of regurgitation," I think the word "state" is missing there. I also jumped down to the bottom and noticed this: "Before may lays a desert landscape." I didn't check anything between those two paragraphs, so there could be more. Let me know if you have any other questions. Jay Ten (talk) 12:22, October 1, 2016 (UTC) :Please do not remove the M4R template. It can only be removed by administrators. The story still has issues and hasn't been fully reviewed yet. :Jay Ten (talk) 16:42, October 1, 2016 (UTC) PotM I'm afraid you can't enter your story in the running yourself. Stories are nominated by other users. Your story, while it is good, is not in my opinion up there with the best. So, honestly, I don't see it winning the PotM. That is not to say future stories from you can't be great. Actually, I believe if you keep at it, you will become an exceptional creepypasta writer. I can see that you have potential and you just need more experience. Keep writing and you'll eventually get there. Looking forward to reading more of your work. Cheers! MrDupin (talk) 17:24, October 5, 2016 (UTC) :Any user can nominate a story, but we are the ones who decide which wins. At first, there was a poll and people voted on that, but some users abused the system and the poll was removed. :Also, don't feel beat down that you are not where you wanted to be skill-wise after a couple of years. Mostly it takes more than that, so don't worry about it. If you like writing, you'll be fine. MrDupin (talk) 17:56, October 5, 2016 (UTC)